Reminiscing

I can not sleep again and i am watching House,MD. season 6 episode 2. And as i am watching it, i am thinking of,why do i always felt bad when one of our family member left our home or i left home,eve just going to the capital city of our country. Maybe it was they called psychological emotiön or other words they call it. And if i felt bad, i would always think of the days where i attempted to commit suicide since i was in second year high school and even remembered my dad told me that 'you have gone crazy?'. I know it was a stupid attempt,it was just that i never ever wanted problems. I would always blame myself for simple problem, maybe it was due to the reason that my mum would tell us how their life was,which we never experienced since we were still toddlers and when we learned the cruelty of the world we could even hear gossips from our own relatives that we got bankrupt,and the correct term was 'insik na naputo'. And my mum would hate that and would even tell us that they were good leeches but now they are good as nothing. Maybe that is life, once you are up,you should be wiser than the wisemen. All these bad memories in my younger years would always be part of all the aches i have,that is why i wanted to be happy and i really hate problems but life fact that problems will always be part of our tomorrows.